The One That Got Away
by Chenai.x
Summary: He watched her fall, and deep down he knew that he was partly the cause. But what will he do when he finds her again and finally realizes the mess he's helped create? Randy Orton/OC
1. Prologue

**A/N: **Thank you for choosing to give my story a chance. While this is my first publishing under this account, few may remember my stories from my old account (.net/~chenai) which I have forgotten the login info for (Doh!). It has been awhile since I have written on here, but I hope that you will all read and review with your thoughts and wishes for the stories future.

This story is set in 2011 and will loosely follow WWE television; however I have taken a few years off of Randy's age in order for it to make sense. I own nothing but the characters I have created, and will also be using a few songs to tie in with my main character which have come from popular artists and of course, completely belong to them.

**Lastly, this story is rated strongly for a reason, so please do not read if you are under the age of consent in your area.**

The first chapter is short, but another update will follow shortly (if you want me to continue, that is!) Thank you and I hope to hear from you all!

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><p><strong>The One That Got Away<strong>

_It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you. And when it's over, and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back... So that you could have the good. - __**"We Found Love"**_

**Prologue**

And this would how it would end. On a cold, dirty bathroom floor alone in some shitty little dive in California with no one to save her. She struggled to stay awake, somehow managing to pull her head up so her eyes could meet the door. There was no way she would reach it, her whole body felt numb. She managed to roll onto her back and stared up at the grotty ceiling. It was stained a disgusting nicotine yellow colour, and there was various spots that looked like they were about to cave in. She breathed heavily and used all her strength to feel around for her phone. She had to say goodbye.

She let out a sob of frustration, her head lolling to the side as she struggled to find what she was looking for. How could she leave this world without hearing his voice? She closed her eyes in a mix or relief and tiredness when she felt her hand close around the shape of her cell phone and pulled it to her chest, hitting speed dial one.

_Please answer, please answer..._

**You have reached the mail box for 314-434-5693; please leave your message after the beep...**

She scrunched her eyes shut as she let out a cry, dragging the cell phone to her ear. "It's me." Her voice was so slurred that the receiver of the message would have trouble understanding her words. "I've fucked up... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry you ever had to deal with this. I wish I could have been better for you, but its okay, because I'll be gone now and you can live your life without worrying about me. I love you; please don't ever forget that..."

She couldn't hold on anymore. The phone dropped from her hands and her head fell to the side, her shallow breathing fading as she slipped into unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N:** For story purposes, I have taken Rihanna's song "We Found Love" and used it as one of my characters own. All rights to this belong to her and her record company. Thank you for all of you that have reviewed so far! Please let me know what you think of this chapter as it spurs me on to write more for you all. :-)

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: A Trip Down Memory Lane.<strong>

**_Months before..._**

Randy's eyes were fixated on the screen. The woman in front of him paraded around, singing about a lost love, her eyes full of tears as the male counterpart in her video proceeded to smash up their belongings and do his best to look as angry as possible. He rolled his eyes. He knew this song was about him; however the scene portrayed on the television was nothing like what had actually happened. The familiar sounds of his wife's footsteps made him scramble for the remote, switching off the music video in exchange for a documentary about polar bears.

"Polar bears?" Sam commented, reaching over the couch to wrap her arms around him. "I didn't know you were so in touch with nature, baby."

"It's interesting," He shrugged off, stroking the arm that wrapped around him from behind, relieved that she hadn't seen what he had actually been watching.

"Whatever you say, Hun." Sam giggled, removing herself from him. "Alanna's fast asleep. I can't believe you leave tomorrow and I'm not coming with you."

Randy nodded knowingly. Tomorrow was officially the beginning of Wrestlemania week and instead of accompanying him like his wife and daughter usually did, Sam was staying home with Alanna to take care of some work commitments she had taken on since she had started working at her father's legal firm. While he had joked with her that she was simply getting savvy for the day she had finally had enough of him, he knew that she needed something to fill her time while he was away, and she enjoyed it, so he saw no harm in her doing a couple of days work a week to keep her mind occupied...

... And to keep her off of his back.

Sam glanced up at the clock and gasped, practically jumping on top of him for the remote as she flicked through the channels. "E! Entertainment News is on!" She gushed, receiving a groan in response from Randy. One of the things he couldn't stand about Sam was how obsessed she was with all of those celebrity news programs and reality shows. She drove him crazy with them, constantly TeVo'ing every episode and forcing him to watch them. He couldn't give a shit who Kim Kardashian was dating, or which real housewives hated each other that week, it was all crap to him.

"C'mon Sam, can't you watch this when I'm not here?" He huffed, rubbing his temple while she simply shushed him and sat forward, completely focused on what was on the screen. He growled in annoyance and fell back against the couch, elbow propped on the arm rest as he let his head fall into his hand.

**And in more serious news, it seems that Lily Marie's drug-fuelled video for "We Found Love" may not be as fabricated as we would like to believe. The singer was spotted leaving the Viper Room last night with yet another man on her arm, barefoot and barely able to stand...**

Randy shifted uncomfortably as pictures of the scene they were describing flashed up on the screen. He knew the infamous Lily Marie, he knew her very well.

**Paparazzi on the scene asked Lily about her dishevelled appearance, and if perhaps it was down to the rumours of her apparent use of illegal substances, only for the Grammy winner to laugh and ask if they wanted any. Handlers managed to get the twenty-seven year old into a nearby vehicle, but not before she gave the waiting cameras a peek at what was underneath the barely there shirt she was wearing!**

Randy cringed as they showed footage of her hanging out of the car window, her shirt lifted as the paparazzi pulled at each other to get the best picture of her naked chest. He felt sick to his stomach as he watched her fall back into the vehicle, only for her to publically make out with the guy she had left with, flipping the cameras the bird before the car sped off.

"Ugh," Sam said in disgust. "She is so vile. I can't believe you knew that girl."

"It was a long time ago, Sam." Randy mumbled, a lie however, as he knew the girl on the television screen alot better than his wife was aware of.

**Let's hope she manages to get it together for Sunday! She has today been named as the replacement for Keri Hilson at WWE's Wrestlemania Event in Atlanta after the Georgia native reportedly pulled out of performing due to laryngitis. We're sure that Lily will have fun, as there will be a lot of handsome men there for her to choose from!**

Randy felt all the air leave his chest. She was going to be there Sunday? She couldn't be. Vince hadn't said anything, and surely he was bigger than hiring a singer with an obvious drug and alcohol problem? He rolled his eyes at himself. Of course he wasn't, it was press, and any press to Vince was good press. He didn't even notice that Sam had switched off the television and threw the remote down in anger.

"Well, are you going to say anything?" She said after a few minutes. He turned to look at her finally and blinked in confusion. She had practically gone red with anger while her chest rose and fell with seething breaths. He could tell that she was doing her very best to try and remain calm. "Well you must have known she was going to be there. That's probably why you don't seem so bothered about Alanna and I staying home... You can't wait to see her and 'catch up'!"

"Sam, you're putting two and two together and making five," He sighed, not wanting to argue with her. "I had no idea, alright? And who gives a shit if she is there? She's not a part of my life anymore; I don't want to speak to her."

"But you will." She huffed. "And your parents will. They love that drugged up little bitch."

He had to bite his tongue to stop him from snapping at her at that point. "I'm not going to argue with you about this. You need to learn to trust me."

"I do trust you," She said in a quiet voice as he stood up and headed towards the stairs. "Just not with her."

Randy had to stop himself from storming up the stairs, remembering that his two year old daughter was fast asleep in bed. He stopped by her room to check on her and sighed with adoration and how cute she looked lay there in her peaceful slumber. He leant down to place a gentle kiss to her forehead and quietly made his way out and towards his office. He carefully closed the door behind him and settled down in his leather office chair.

He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his house keys, leaning back in his chair, deep in thought as he stared forward at a particular drawer in his desk. It was one he kept locked at all times and rarely visited, for the contents inside where memories he had tried to leave behind as they were simply too hard for him to bare.

He thought back to what he had seen on the television screen moments ago. His little Lily, all grown up and reeking havoc on the town, and more worryingly, on herself. Sam would never understand how much it hurt him to see those images of her; how he blamed himself for the mess she was in. He was sure that he could have stopped it, if only he had been there for her, if he hadn't of hurt her the way he did.

He let out a sigh and pushed forward on his chair, picking out the smallest key on the chain, one he made sure he kept with him at all times. He didn't want Sam to see what he kept in there. Placing it in the lock, he turned until it clicked and hesitated before pulling it open, almost afraid to look at what was inside. He picked up the photograph that sat on the very top and held it between his fingers, examining it sadly. In it were two teenagers, one being him at the age of seventeen, the other a beautiful blonde with deep emerald eyes and a smile that could make the most hard-faced man weak at the knees. He gently ran his fingers across her face and sighed before placing it back in the drawer.

The next he pulled out made his chest tighten. In it, the same beautiful girl was wrapped around him, age nineteen, in an emotional embrace. He turned it over and read the message that was sprawled on the back.

_The day you came back for me..._

He threw it back into the drawer and let his head fall into his hands. He remembered that day like it was yesterday. Twelve hours before it was taken he had gone AWOL from the Marine Corps, jumping on a greyhound bus to return to his home in St Louis. The message on the back was Lily's handwriting, and was the best way to describe why he did what he did that day. It was for her.

Lily Marie Thomas wasn't just any girl; she had always been his girl. From kindergarten where she would run away from him saying he had cooties, to elementary school where he had protected her from the local boys who would pick on her, and right up to high school and beyond... They had always been inseparable. It was hard for him to comprehend the fact that they were pretty much strangers now, he hadn't seen her in years. He couldn't call her to tell her about his day, or to unload some of the problems that were bothering him like he used to. But what was even harder for him to accept was that with everything that she was going through, the way that she was destroying herself; he couldn't be the one to save her. He couldn't shake her and tell her what a fool she was being, he was helpless.

What tortured him the most is that he knew it was partly his fault. He had put her through so much when they were together... And then he'd met Sam.

_Sam... His wife, the mother of his child. What the hell was he doing?_

He growled and tossed the picture back into the drawer, slamming it shut. He couldn't do this anymore. Lily Marie was the past, and if he saw her Sunday then he would simply walk in the other direction. He had moved on, and he wasn't prepared to risk the life he had created with Sam for a girl he no longer knew.

...Atleast he thought he wasn't, anyway.


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Another chapter for you all. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. Please let me know what you think of this one! Things are going to start heating up, and the next chapter will be a longer one. :-)

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: The Past Will Always Hurt.<strong>

As soon as her eyes flickered open she immediately wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Everything hurt, from her head right down to her toes. She couldn't remember a thing from the night before, infact she wasn't even sure where she was, or who's bed she was in. She felt the space next to her and breathed a sigh of relief when she found it was empty. Atleast that was one less problem she had to deal with. She managed to sit herself up and groaned at the pounding in her head, her hand aiming towards the window in a poor attempt to block out the sun that streamed through. She yawned loudly and finally took a look at her surroundings, her eyes widening in panic.

She knew exactly where she was, and whose room this was... Well, whose room this used to be. She practically fell out of bed, her body hitting the floor with a thud as she crawled around desperately looking for her clothes so that she could get the hell out of there. Where the fuck were they? She huffed and fell onto her backside, head tilted in confusion as she tried to figure out what was going on. None of her things were here, infact minus the bed that she had just crawled out of, everything was perfectly in place.

She used the dresser to pull herself up and took a few deep breaths to calm herself. He wouldn't be here, he couldn't be. But then how the hell had she got here? She shook her head and huffed, instantly regretting it when her throbbing headache got stronger. She was _way_ too sober to be in this predicament. Finally, she took the opportunity to look down at what she was wearing.

"Oh, jeez..." She mumbled to herself. It was one of HIS old t-shirts. She pulled it from her body, almost disgusted to be wearing it and carelessly tossed it to the side. She wanted nothing of his anywhere near her, not anymore.

She began to pull at the drawers of the dresser. There had to be something of hers here somewhere, she'd practically spent half of her life in this room. That was unless he'd burnt every single thing that had ever reminded him of her. She rolled her eyes. It wouldn't surprise her if he had. She froze when she reached the top drawer, for it wasn't clothes that she found, but a picture frame. Carefully she pulled it from its hiding place and let her fingers trail over the all too familiar image.

She sank to the floor in a heap and stared at it intently. It had been taken backstage at one of the first shows she had done after being signed to her record deal. She, of course was a sweaty mess after having played for an hour and a half, her faithful guitar attached to her by its strap, one that she still carried around with her today. Her eyes were not focused on the camera, however, they were instead looking up at a tall, dark and handsome man, his own eyes beaming with pride, his head bent down to kiss her lips.

She felt herself well up as she absent-mindedly fingered her lips, almost able to feel his kiss once more. Those days seemed a world away from the place she was at now. She could picture how perfect that night had been, how loved she had felt not just by the man beside her, but by the dozens and dozens of people who had come out to support her and celebrate her dream coming true. She scoffed. How times change. She had gone from feeling like she was on top of the world to being completely alone. Sniffling, she took one more look at the picture and threw it at the wall, not even flinching as the glass shattered and flew in every direction. She refused to remember those days, they were gone... And so was he.

She didn't find any clothes so had to begrudgingly put back on the discarded t-shirt, but she did manage to dig out a pair of sunglasses to cover her tired eyes. _That would have to do_, she thought to herself as she headed for the door. Before she left, she took one more look at the room that held so many memories for her, and finally at the shattered picture that now lay on the carpet. She needed to get out of here and find something to fix her thoughts a-sap.

Clambering down the stairs, she painted on her best smile and headed for the kitchen. "Howdy Parentals."

Bob Orton looked up from the newspaper he was reading and frowned when he got a good look at her. Long gone were the blonde locks that she had inherited from her mother, now they were replaced with jet black waves that at this very moment made her look like she had been dragged through a hedge backwards. He was sure that the dark glasses she wore were covering the damage she had done the night before, and her slender frame seemed to be getting smaller every time he saw her. "Well look who's awake."

She simply giggled, missing the serious edge in his voice and dropped a kiss onto his wife's cheek before she sat down. Elaine stood by the sink, looking equally as concerned about Lily's appearance, especially after her performance the night before. "Breakfast, dear?"

"Not hungry." She replied simply, instead pouring herself a glass of juice. Elaine sighed in frustration. Whenever Lily did visit them, she would always make excuses that she wasn't hungry or that she'd already ate. It was just another problem on the long list they were both sure she had.

"Do you remember how you got here last night, young lady?" Bob asked, already sure of the answer. She simply shrugged in response and took a gulp of her juice. "Nathan had to pick you up."

That made sense. It wasn't the first time that their youngest son had come to her rescue, and if she was honest, it probably wouldn't be the last. "Ah, remind me to thank little bro' when I see him."

Bob took a deep breath to stop him from blowing up. Every time this happened, two things would happen. Lily would barely react to her actions, showing no sign of guilt for what she had done, and Elaine would plead with him to remain calm and not say a word to her. She was sure that if he did, then that would be it. The rare appearances that Lily did make to their household would disappear and she would be out of their lives for good. Most would deem that a good thing, she wasn't their daughter by blood, and the continuous cycle of her actions proved that she had no remorse for what she put them through time and time again._ It's the addiction_, Elaine would often say. _She doesn't know what she's doing..._

Well he was sick of this. He was sick of watching the young girl he'd helped raise destroy herself right infront of their eyes. This was not what her parents would have wanted for her, and if he had it his way then he would have dragged her upstairs and locked her in one of the bedrooms until she saw sense.

"I'm going for a walk." He said eventually before storming out of the kitchen.

Elaine sighed and placed a plate of eggs and bacon infront of Lily. She knew that she wouldn't touch them, but she would always make her something just incase. As predicted, Lily pushed them forward and instead took another sip of her juice. That would probably sum up her calorie intake for the day.

"So are you excited for Sunday?" She said finally, settling down in the chair that Bob had just vacated. Lily didn't even look up and instead reached for the newspaper he had left behind. "It's been quite awhile since you've been to a wrestling show, hasn't it?"

She noticed that Lily hesitated before turning to the next page, obviously caught up in her own thoughts. Elaine was well aware that the last time that she had been to an event was with Randy, and the way that her lips pursed together proved to her that the subject of her son was still dangerously painful. "Maybe you'll see Randy there..."

She knew it was a risky subject, but she just couldn't help herself. It broke her heart to know that her son and the young woman she considered her own no longer spoke. Her and Bob had both tried on many occasions to bring them back together, but it had proved hopeless.

As she expected, Lily leapt to her feet ready to make her escape. She did this every time that they tried to speak to her about him. "I think I'm gonna split... You know, busy bee and all that." She swallowed, eyes darting back and forth, looking at anything but Elaine. "Do you have my clothes? I couldn't find them in Ran-" She paused to correct herself, unable to bring herself to say his name. "In the spare room."

"I threw those things out," Elaine admitted, nursing the cup of coffee infront of her. "They were a mess, Lily. Lord knows what you got up to last night." She took a deep breath, counting to five before she continued. The last thing she wanted to do was upset her. "Why don't you stay for a little while? I'm sure Rebecca has something upstairs that you could borrow."

She thought for a second, giving Elaine an ounce of hope that she would accept her offer, but eventually shook her head. "No, it's okay. I have plenty back at my hotel. Do you mind if I take the car? I promise I'll have one of the valets bring it straight back once I get there."

Elaine sighed, she could never say no to her. "Of course dear. But surely you're not going to leave like that?"

Lily shrugged and twirled in the barely there t-shirt she was still wearing. "It'll give people something to talk about, huh?" Elaine frowned, while Lily simply laughed to herself and dropped another kiss to her cheek, snatching the keys from the counter before making her way to the front door. "Love you, Ma. I'll call you."

"Wait," Elaine said desperately, rising to her feet as she followed her out onto the drive. "Bob and I are in Atlanta for the show next week, promise me you'll meet us for dinner?"

"Of course," She agreed, skipping over to the driver's side of their Range Rover. "I'll see you next week."

"Okay," She did her best to smile, but as always, a part of her wondered if she would make it there. She always worried that when she did see her, it would be the last time. "Oh and Lily?"

"Yeah?" She asked, looking at her from the open window as she put the car in reverse.

"Promise me you'll be careful..." She asked meekly.

"Where's the fun in that?" Lily winked. And with that she was gone.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Thank you for your reviews! Here's another chapter for you :-) The italic portion is a flashback, and the song used is Rihanna's "We Found Love" which I am using as my characters own, even though I, of course, do not own any rights to it.

This chapter contains some strong subjects, so please don't read if you're easily affected by stuff like that. Let me know what you think!

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Me, You and My Medication.<strong>

_The stage was set. Tonight would be the night that their lives changed forever. Lily sat front row with Randy's parents and siblings and nervously played with her hands as she waited for him to appear. The familiar sounds of his music hit and the butterflies viciously flapped around in her stomach as she laid her eyes on the love of her life._

_Within what felt like seconds he was near her, the look in his eyes telling her just how nervous he was about tonight. He momentarily stopped by them and leaned over the barricade to give her a kiss. She was almost in tears already and the match hadn't even started yet._

_She clung to Nathans arm as they watched him and his opponent square off. Paul, better known by his stage name Triple H, wasn't known backstage as being the nicest guy, but Lily had always saw something in him that many refused to. To everyone in the back, he was simply the boss's son-in-law, to her, he was the man who had agreed to pass the torch on to Randy and make all his dreams come true._

_Before she knew it, the bell rang and it was over. Randy rose to his feet and immediately began to cry, setting her and the rest of the family off too. She sobbed openly as the referee handed over the championship belt to Randy, officially crowning him as the youngest champion in WWE history. This was a moment she would never forget._

_She weaved in and out of the crowd, desperate to get backstage and congratulate her man. Before she knew it, she was in his arms._

_"You did it," She breathed, hands either side of his face as their foreheads met. Tears rolled down both their cheeks as they embraced each other, the crowd around them clapping in respect for what Randy had achieved tonight. "I'm so proud of you..."_

_He stepped back, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths, his newly won championship proudly adorned on his shoulder as he frantically looked around, almost looking relieved when he spotted his father approaching, his own face speaking a million emotions. He pulled his dad in close for a hug before stepping back to look at him. "Have you got it?"_

_Lily looked on bewildered while Bob simply nodded and reached into his back pocket, pulling out a small black box. He handed it to Randy and clasped a hand on his shoulder, taking in a deep breath to calm himself before taking a step back._

_She took a step back in shock, feeling the butterflies in her stomach turn into dinosaurs as Randy got down on one knee and opened the box for her to see. She didn't hear Elaine's sobs or Rebecca's squeal, not even the hoots and hollers that came from the crowd around them, all she saw was a beautiful diamond ring and her one and only in front of her with tears streaming down his sweaty face._

_"When I went out there tonight, the only person I wanted and needed to see was you..." He began, his words heavy, still out of breath from his match. "You put me at ease when I'm at my craziest, you understand me when no one else does, and you love me more than anybody in this world ever will." Tears fell freely from her eyes as she stood frozen to the spot, unable to believe this was actually happening. "I can't imagine having to wake up without you beside me, or to go a day without hearing your voice... I guess what I'm trying to say is..."_

_She sucked in a breath and held it. This was it._

_"Lily Marie Thomas, will you marry me?"_

She jolted up in bed, her breathing laboured and body sweating. This was the fourth night in a row that she'd been having dreams like this, flashbacks of the way things used to be, and they were not getting any easier to handle. Placing a hand on her heart, she took in deep glugs of air to try and calm herself, feeling herself on the brink of a panic attack. With her impending appearance at Wrestlemania, her mind was working overtime, and it was getting harder and harder for her to numb away her thoughts.

She felt the bed shift and glanced beside her. A messy mop of brown hair and pale, tattooed skin lay beside her, completely oblivious to her outburst, and probably too out of it to even care. It wasn't like he'd be that bothered anyway. Their relationship was nothing serious, just convenience. Martin was the lead singer of an up and coming band that she had met a few months ago. He was hot, great in bed and even better at scoring the best coke around. He was the perfect Mr. Right-now guy to keep her body and habit satisfied.

She rolled herself off of the bed and stood on shaky feet, sleepily pushing the black hair from her face as she glanced up at the clock on the wall. 5:32am... five hours until she had to leave for the arena. She huffed and twiddled her thumbs, rocking back and forth on her heels. What was there to do in Atlanta? She frowned. Nothing at 5am in the morning, that's for sure.

Her eyes focused on the dressing table and the white powder that covered the surface. She stumbled over to it and flopped down on the chair. This would certainly burn some time.

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><p>"Can you believe we're going to meet THE actual Lily Marie?" One of the divas gasped, clapping her hands together in excitement.<p>

"I know!" Another squealed. "I wonder what she's like."

_Nothing like the person she was_, Randy thought to himself, rolling his eyes as he approached.

"I can't believe she's two hours late though," Someone else chimed in.

"I can," The first voice said. "Don't you read the tabloids? She has a major dru-" The voice stopped when she saw his attempt to move past them. His relationship with Lily was no secret to anyone who read up on them - They had both been on the rollercoaster of success while they had been dating. "Oh, um, hi Randy."

He glared at Rosie.. Rosana.. Rosa, or whatever her name was, and stomped straight past them, knowing that as soon he was gone they would be huddled in a corner gossiping like the little talentless bimbo's they were. He stopped when he rounded a corner and took a deep breath. He'd promised himself that tonight he would stay focused no matter what happened.. He had to. Tonight he was facing CM Punk, and he was determined to deliver a match that would forever be remembered as one of the best to ever grace Wrestlemania. He couldn't waste his time worrying on whether he would run into his ex flame, or what kind of state she'd be in. He had to be on his A game.

He was struggling, though. His brother had left him and the rest of the family to go pick her up from the hotel, but not before relaying a story to him about something that had happened a few days before. Apparently while he was sat at home mulling over the idea of seeing her again, she was out on the town drinking, snorting and ingesting everything she could get her hands on. Nathan had told him that he had gone to find her to bring her back to his parent's home and it was the worst that he had seen her yet.

_"She was a mess," Nathan had told him, his expression sad as he remembered what had happened. "Her eyes were just blank, bro. It was like there was nothing there. She'd numbed it all away."_

He slammed his palm against the wall and growled. He was angry for what she was doing to his siblings, to his parents, especially his mom who had seemed extra fragile after seeing her, but most of all he was angry at her for doing it to herself. She knew better.

Randy glanced down at his watch and groaned. He'd been so preoccupied that he was now running ten minutes late to a practice session with John. Few were privileged enough to get ring time before a televised show as it was, let alone at Wrestlemania, and especially when the two who were granted it were not even facing each other. He quickened his paces and was inside the ring before he knew it.

"Hey dude." John Cena smirked at his best friend and pulled him in for a manly hug. "You took your time."

"I got distracted," He mumbled, running a hand over his face.

John nodded knowingly. "Have you seen her yet?"

John had known Lily around six years before she and Randy had stopped speaking. He thought alot of her, looking at her more like a little sister than his best friends other half, but as soon as she and Randy were over, it was as though their friendship was too. He guessed it was too painful for her to stay in touch with someone who was so involved in her ex's life.

"No, and I don't want to talk about her." He said matter-of-factly, pushing himself back into the corner of the ring. "Now are we going to run through those moves, or not?"

He nodded and the two began to run through a few things they had planned for their separate matches later that night. Ten minutes in and John clambered to his feet, looking alarmed all of a sudden. Randy rose up slowly, his back to the staging area as he stared at his best friend in confusion "What?"

"Dude, don't turn around." John instructed, looking straight past him.

"What?" He did the obvious thing and tried to turn, only for John to stop him. "Cena. what the fuck?"

"There's something I don't think you really want to see.." He gulped, cringing when Randy shrugged him off and spun around to see what was going on. He felt his stomach leave his body when he saw what John had been trying to protect him from...

It was her.

She stood at the top of the ramp, eyes covered with a pair of over sized sunnies and body clothed in a pair of black skinny jeans and a tattered Jim Morrison t-shirt. A black leather jacket practically hung from her skinny frame as she rested her body weight on Randy's brother, yawning in boredom as one of the WWE producers explained something to her.

"She looks different, bro." John whispered, speaking the words he was thinking.

Randy swallowed hard and stared at her. He'd seen pictures of her over the years, but looking at her now in person made him realize how true John's words were. He finally managed to tear his gaze from the top of the ramp and cleared his throat, facing back towards John. "Well, are we gonna' finish running through this shit or not?"

John nodded sadly and the boys went back to work. However ten minutes in and their ears were penetrated by something beautiful. She was sound checking for the show. Randy did his best to ignore it and locked up with John once more. He knew it was her, and he also knew it was just another of many songs written about him.

_We found love in a hopeless place..._

He took John down with a headlock and clenched his eyes shut, desperate to get her voice out of his head. Just seeing her was tormenting him enough.

_We found love in a __**hopeless**__ place..._

He couldn't do this. He released John and rolled away from him and onto his back, hands covering his face as the song echoed throughout the arena. John frowned and sat up, his eyes trailing back up towards the stage where Lily remained, completely oblivious that the muse for her new hit single was not as far away as she would think and could hear every word. "Let's go man," He said finally, standing up so that he could pull Randy up. "We'll go grab some food or something."

It was at that very moment that Lily spotted him. Her voice wavered over the loud speaker as Randy's eyes finally met hers. The microphone dropped from her hands with a thud and she stepped backwards in an attempt to try and make the already large distance between them even bigger. He watched as she reached out for Nathan, frantically pulling on his arm as she spoke animatedly. Nathan glanced up at his brother before turning to chase after Lily who couldn't have gotten out of there fast enough.

* * *

><p>Lily practically fell into the private locker room she had been given for the night and collapsed back against the door with a thud. Her breathing was wild as she tried to come to terms with what had just happened. Deep down she knew she was bound to see him somewhere along the line, but it certainly hadn't made it any easier. She stepped forward, shrugging the leather jacket from her shoulders and reached for her purse, smiling to herself when she found the small bottle of vodka she had hidden in there earlier.<p>

She unscrewed the cap and took a huge gulp, her face scrunching up as the harsh liquor hit the back of her throat. It was so bad, it was good. She fell back onto the couch and continued to swig the poisonous liquid while her eyes wandered down to her now bare arms. They were covered in deep gashes, some healing while others were fresh. It wasn't something that she was proud of, but sometimes it was the only way that she could find some relief from the shitty reality she had to live in day in and day out.

She felt that familiar urge take over her as she stared down at them. One more wouldn't hurt...

She rifled through her bag once more and extracted a small razor, taking in a couple of deep breaths as she lowered it down to her skin. Before she could do any damage, a knock on the door startled her. She scrambled to place the razor and vodka back in her bag and quickly pulled her jacket back on, clearing her throat before she spoke. "Yeah?"

The door pushed open, and the last person she expected to be stood in front of her entered. Well, second least likely. "John." She swallowed, self consciously running a hand through her hair. "Hey."

John felt his heart tug at how different the woman in front of him looked from the fresh faced blonde he'd met all those years ago. It hurt him to see her like this, so he couldn't even begin to comprehend how Randy felt. "Hey, Lulu."

She smiled at his own special nickname for her. He had called it her since the day they had first met. Randy had moved to Louisville to begin training at WWE's development camp in early 2001 and Lily had quickly become a permanent fixture there, leading her to meet John. The two had become instant friends and the innocence of those days seemed a million miles away from the place she was at now. "Hi John-boy.."

"Well aren't you going to give me a hug?" He goaded, smiling over at her with his arms open.

She rose to her feet and crossed the distance between them, falling into him for a hug. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in close, frowning at how fragile she felt. The Lily he knew had skin that glowed and meat on her bones. However the Lily in front of him was pale with dark bags under her troubled eyes and was, well, a bag of bones.

"It's good to see you again, kid." He said after a few minutes, leaning down to place a kiss on the top of her head.

"You too," She practically sniffled, quickly wiping away any stray years before settling back down on the couch. "It's been awhile, huh?"

"You could say that," He answered, sitting down beside her. There was an awkward silence between them, neither knowing what to say. "So.. Are you all ready for tonight?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" She retorted, playfully jabbing him in the arm as she tried to block out what had happened earlier. "You've come along way, J. I'm so proud of you."

He smiled. A moment like this made him realize that beyond all the bullshit she had going on, she was still the same Lily he loved. "And I'm proud of you, Lil.. But..." She braced herself. Here it comes. "Are you alright? I mean, really?"

She rolled her eyes and looked away from him. "Don't ruin it, John."

"I'm worried about you," He admitted, reaching to take her hand. "I've seen the media reports, Lily. What are you doing to yourself?"

"I'm living my life!" She snapped back at him. She didn't want to hear him pretend to care. No one cared. "And half of what you've read probably isn't true, anyways. You should know how those piece of shit journalist's work."

He was about to argue back that the pictures and videos he'd seen of her acting out of control were very real, but then he noticed something. He stared down at their intertwined hands and saw that the jacket she was wearing had rode up, revealing some deep scars on her wrist. She noticed that his gaze had changed and followed his eyes, immediately panicking. She pulled away from him and rose to her feet quickly. "I think you should go, J. I need to get ready."

"Lily..." He began, the pain evident in his voice. He didn't want to argue with her, he wanted to help her.

"I'll see you later, okay?" She scrambled over to the door of her small private bathroom and took one more look at him before she escaped inside. She couldn't do this right now.. Or ever, for that matter.

John let out a growl of frustration and let his head fall into his hands. He finally rose to his feet to leave but paused when he caught another glimpse at her purse. He took the bottle of vodka from it and stared down at it. Added to the revelation that she was mutilating herself, this was just one of the problems that he knew she had. He dreaded to think what else she was poisoning her body with. His anger got the better of him and he threw the bottle against the wall, watching as it shattered into pieces.

He had to do something, he just didn't know what.

* * *

><p>The show was over for another year, and the entire company had retreated to a private venue for the after-party. Lily was already smashed, having started the party earlier on when John had vacated her dressing room. Somehow she had managed to get through her performances on the show without a hitch, and despite the awkward run-in earlier, she was definitely in the party spirit and had decided that the words 'free bar' were too good to pass up.<p>

She twirled the straw in her drink and did her best to smile up at the random man she had been talking to for the past twenty minutes. He looked like something you would find in a grotty rock video; covered in tattoos with long black greasy hair. She thought that he would be the perfect distraction for the night, however ten minutes in to a conversation with him and she wanted to glass herself.

"... And that's why I'm straight edge."

She nodded slowly and took another sip of her double vodka and coke. She found it ironic that someone who was so anti drinking, drugs and promiscuous sex was stood here giving the time of day - Surely he wouldn't be so keen to speak to her if he had seen the four lines of coke she had done in the bathroom less than an hour ago. "Thrilling. What did you say your name was again?"

"Phil," He answered. "The fans call me CM Punk."

"Well Punky, I'm gonna head to the bathroom." She said, her legs unsteady as she hopped off of the bar stool. "Nice chatting with ya'. Good luck with that straight edge thing."

She let out a sigh or relief once she rounded the corner and pressed her back against the wall, glad to have a moment to herself. Lily closed her eyes. She could feel herself coming down from the beautiful drug-fuelled high she was on, leaving her with the less satisfying sensation of simply being drunk off her tits. She had to remedy this.

So desperate to get to the bathroom, Lily didn't even realize that someone was heading directly towards her until it was too late. She felt herself collide with a solid chest and braced herself for the hard, inevitable landing, however it never came. She felt a pair of arms around her waist and opened an eye to peek up at who had caught her.

The world stopped when she stared up into those familiar baby blue eyes, and for an instant she felt sober. "R-Randy..."

He was so surprised to see her that his arms disappeared from around her waist, leaving her to fall backwards and onto her backside with a thud. She winced and looked up at him accusingly. "Fucking ow!"

Randy rubbed the back of his head nervously. His brain was telling him to run, but his heart had him glued to the spot, unable to take his eyes off of her. She was a shell of the girl he had grown up to love, however the pout that crossed her face as she rubbed the spot she had fell on reminded him of the old Lily. His Lily.

"Well I knew there was a chance we'd cross paths, but I didn't expect you to run me over," She quipped, the drugs and alcohol coming back full effect to give her the words that she would never be able to get out sober. He watched as she struggled to pull herself up, only to fall straight back down. She huffed and looked around her, frowning when she found that the contents of her purse were scattered around her.

He rolled his eyes and effortlessly pulled her up with one hand, staring in disbelief as she stumbled around on her own two feet, unable to keep her balance. How could so much change in the space of three years? He swallowed down the lump in his throat and struggled to find something, anything to say to her in that moment, however he didn't have to as noticed something on the floor that made his heart drop. It had fallen out of her bag.

He reached down and picked up the small glass vial and stared at it, knowing that his first guess of the contents would more than likely be the correct one. Lily's eyes widened in panic and she immediately went to grab it from him, only to fail miserably when he held it away from her reach.

"That's mine.. Give it to me!" She snapped, making another failed attempt at reaching it. "Randy, I'm not fucking around. Give it to me!"

His gaze went from the vial to her eyes. She was pinned, and he could only imagine how much of this she had already taken. He knew she had a problem, he'd heard and read enough about it over the past couple of years to know that what was said about her was true. But to have her standing here in front of him, her addiction staring him straight in the face, it brought a pain to his chest that he thought was buried with their friendship.

"What are you doing to yourself?" He finally got out, his first words spoken to her in years. She avoided his gaze, her eyes watering. Just hearing his voice hurt her more than anyone could ever imagine.

"Why do you care?" She finally threw at him, her eyes piercing through him with so much anger, it knocked him back. "If you don't give it to me, I'll just go and get some more. I'll have double that shit within an hour."

He took in a deep breath, willing himself to stay calm. Without a word he grabbed her wrist and dragged her towards the bathroom, her protests going unheard as he shoved her inside and locked the door behind them. Lily tripped over her own feet and fell to a heap on the floor, her hand clutching the spot where he had pulled her.

"You wanna know what I think of this?" He growled, slamming open the stall door. She managed to pull herself up using one of the sinks and watched as he unscrewed the top and proceeded to pour the contents down the toilet. She gasped and clambered over to try and stop him, only to reach him just as he pulled the chain. Her face fell as she watched what must have been at least two grand's worth of cocaine disappear in front of her eyes. She didn't even care that Randy was there in that moment, she was more concerned about where she would get some more.

"You're a fucking dick," She finally said, storming away from him and over to the mirror.

He stared at her in disbelief. "I'm a dick? I'm a dick for pouring away the shit that's going to kill you?" He yelled as he crossed the distance between them and spun her around. "Well you're a fucking junkie!"

She slapped him on reflex, so hard that his head jerked back and a red mark immediately began to form. A part of her felt bad, but another part of her was so angry that he had the nerve to do that and speak to her in that way.

There was silence as he turned his head back to look at her, his breathing heavy as he tried desperately to control himself. He'd always had anger problems, Lily knew that better than most and had been the one to encourage him towards therapy. She should know that she was pushing it.

"How dare you act like you care," She began, absolutely seething. "You don't know me anymore, Randy. You have no fucking right to dictate to me what I can or cannot do."

"You're right, I don't know you anymore." He agreed, his voice dangerously low as he stepped even closer to her, pinning her against the sink. "And you know what? I don't want to know this version of you."

"Good," She retorted, leaning back as much as she could to get away from him. "Because I don't want to know any version of you, so why don't you run your ass back to St Louis and go continue to play happy families with that bitch you replaced me with!"

"Don't talk about her like that," He spat, pointing a finger in her face. "Sam is ten times the person you will ever fucking be. You're just some self-absorbed, messed up little girl who's so miserable in her own existence that you're not only satisfied in ruining your life, but everyone's around you too." She was completely silent, her bottom lip quivering as his words pierced through her like a knife. "I suggest you go back to whatever hole you crawled out of and stop fucking tormenting my family with your bullshit. My parents don't need your crap, and neither do I."

He moved back, freeing her from the confined space against the sink and stormed out of the bathroom. She sniffled and fell to the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest as she silently rocked herself back and forth, in a state of shock from their exchange.

_Maybe she would crawl into a hole,_ she thought to herself, sobbing loudly now. _A six foot deep one._


End file.
